Prvi sastanak/First date

davalav_krv_gradiska_small.jpgMože se. Ponovo zaljubiti, ponovo neko osvojiti i biti osvojen. Nedavno sam dvije stvari zapamtila u jednom danu – prvu sam čula gledajući animirani film “Artur”, a to je da moraš pisati uvijek i nikada ne prestati, ukoliko si već pisao cijeli život nešto, a druga je bila vezana za muziku. Prestala sam je slušati. Potpuno zbunjen izraz lica – pa šta? E pa to da je druga stvar koju sam čula da kada prestanemo slušati muziku postajemo gluvi. Duhovno. Jer “muzika spaja nebo i zemlju“.

Priuštila sam sebi to zadovoljstvo, jer nisam mogla ostati ravnodušna kada sam to čula, tako da sam jedno subotnje jutro ostala ležati duže u krevetu, dohvatila se telefona i pustila moj hit dana – u to vrijeme: Shine, Years and Years-a. Osjećaj koji me je prožeo je – vjerovali ili ne –  da je to grijeh, jer – ja uživam.

Onda se vratim u sadašnjost. Sjećam se svojih prvih sastanaka. Mene zanima da li postoji i danas na prvim sastancima nešto što se izvodi kao uobičajeno – otići na kavu u jedan popularan kafić, pa u jedan umjetnički, pa na piće nekamo već sad gdje bi se moglo i poljubiti, možda negdje gdje bi se i najelo – jer, čovjek ogladni, zar ne? Ostajanje naveče kraj Kastela ili u nekom parkiću gdje bi se moglo pričati, a možda i nešto više. Da li starimo za prve sastanke i da li(što je najvažnije od svega) kada dignemo ruke od onoga što nam je bitno u stvari smo  – okrenuli se od sebe.

Kako tu učmalost zaustaviti? Jer nije lijepo odustati  ukoliko se onima kojima je plafon bašta sa krmačom, mercedes sa kućom i selfi u Egiptu “žvaljenje u mraku” pričinja kao nešto iluzorno, bedasto da tako kažem, ukoliko je to ono što baš ti želiš. Uvijek budi spreman upravo za prvi sastanak. Prvi poljubac. Nemoj to zaboraviti. Nemoj zaboraviti postiditi se kada te onaj preko puta “guta” očima. Jest teško, ali, može se. Ne znam ni da li se sada očekuje na prvom sastanku da se ide do kraja? Da slušaš sve one nebitne stvari iz njegovog života u kojima je on uglavnom heroj, a ti ga ni ne slušaš već se samo sretna smješkaš? Moram priznati da kada vidim muškarca sa djevojkom koji nezainteresovano gleda preko njenog ramena ko je to sve došao na mjesto gdje su izašli, ili ona svejedno, onda se zapitam da li takva osoba uopšte i treba da ima nekoga kraj sebe. Jer brate, ako to nije to, onda se toga mani. Nađi onu u koju ćeš gledati.

I čudimo se onima koji prevare.




First date

 

It can be done. Fall in love again, retake somebody and be captured by someone. Just recently I remembered two things in one day – first one I heard watching animated movie “Arthur” and it goes like this – you must write always and never ever stop, if you are a writer of some kind for all of your life; and second one was attached to music. I’ve stopped listening to music. Confusion on your face –  so what if you stopped? Well, that is the other thing I was talking about and it’s saying that without music we become deaf.

Spiritually deaf. Because “music is the bridge between heaven and Earth”. I afford that experience to myself because I couldn’t stay calm when I heard it, so one Saturday morning I was staying in bed longer, than I grabbed my phone and then I’ve heard my hit of the day at that time: Shine, Years and Years. The feeling I was permeated was – believe it or not- it is a sin, because – I enjoy it. Then I come back in reality. I remembered my first dates.

I am curious if there is that habit these days like a ritual that you do like a common thing when you are dating – go for a cup of coffee in one of the popular coffee shops, then in artistic one, then you go on a drink somewhere you would be able to kiss by now, maybe somewhere where you could eat – because, men gets hungry, right?Staying late by the Fortress(local landmark) or in some park where you talk to each other, maybe something more ;).

Do we grow old for “first dates” and is it consider as giving up when(what is the most important of all)we turn away from what is really important to us – do we give up on us? How can I stop that stuffiness? Because it is not nice to quit from what you want for some people who find their top is piece of their own land with some pigs, Mercedes with house to live in, and selfie in Egypt, so they think of “making out in the dark” like it is something fancied, or stupid.

Be always prepare just for that very first date. First kiss. Don’t forget it. Don’t forget to blush when he who is in front of you starts to “devour” you with his eyes. It is hard, but, it can be done.

I don’know if there is now a rule to go all the way down on your first date? Do you listen all that unnecessary stories from his life in which he is most of the time hero and nothing less, and you don’t even listen but just smile at him all happy about his nearness. I must say when I see a man with his girlfriend that looks like he doesn’t care, just right across her shoulder, who came the the coffee shop around them, or maybe she is doing that, whatever, than I wonder whether a person like that should have anybody by his side.

Because, brother, if that is not it, that is not the way you want it to be, than turn away from it. Find someone who you are going to look at. And than we find ourselves surprising when we found out that some acquaintance is having an affair.

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